QotD: Halloween Costume Preparations

If you are going to dress up for Halloween, what will you be? Why? 
Submitted by Auweea.

long ago i decided that one does not reveal their halloween costume prior to the day of halloween.  i'm not telling and there you have it.  lest i wrest the title of "cold, black-hearted curmudgeon" from mantid.  i will regale you with the following story that is tangentially related to costumery.

my grandmother went to China in the 80s, she used to travel all over the world like some kind of jetsetter.  i remain deeply jealous to this day.  anyway, she brought back some gifts, one of which was a ridiculous hat.  this is the closest representative image i can find online.

so anyway, i went off to a summer daycamp when i was probably 8-9 years old.  one day they announced that we would be having a "crazy hat" contest the following day, "so everybody bring in your craziest hat and you might win a prize!"  i get home and tell my parents about the contest.  they immediately insisted that i would take the hat.  i take one look at this thing that i would NEVER normally wear under any circumstances(i mean, seriously, i was a boy scout and i enjoyed setting things on fire.  no self-respecting hoodlum would ever wear a hat like that.) and i decide that i will bring it to camp on my own terms.  since i was reasonably ashamed of this hat, i kept it under wraps, hiding it in my shirt all day.  this strange behavior elicited several probing inquiries into the mystery hat.  i deferred and just kept telling people to wait for the contest.  but this one kid wouldn't let the sleeping dog lie and he yanked my shirt around in a feeble attempt to grab the hat.  this is a good time to note that prior to going off to camp, i spent many hours on the couch watching the nascent WWF and really being absorbed with it.  anyway, i COMPLETELY LOST MY SHIT AND WENT BERSERK on this kid.  i absolutely throttled him and finished it off by leaping into the air and coming down on his prone body with both knees.  JIMMY FUCKING "SUPERFLY" SNUKA BIOTCH!!  the counselors all freaked out, rightfully, and immediately segregated me from the rest of camp.  they hauled me away and told me i wouldn't be participating in the contest.  hmmm, you don't say? anyway, i remember sitting on this picnic table bench far away from everyone and looking over to see my "cat hat" sitting in the dirt off to the side.  i was pretty pleased with myself for both humiliating this kid and not having to wear that hat.

 

the end